If you think someone you met online has been scamming you, stop sending money, contact your bank or payment provider today, and save every message before the scammer deletes their account. Then report it to the FTC, the FBI's IC3, and the app where you met. This guide walks through each step, explains what to do for each payment method, and shows how to avoid the "recovery" scams that target people who have already lost money.
Key takeaways
- Speed matters most for the money: call your bank, card issuer, wire service, gift card company, or crypto exchange as soon as you can and ask them to stop or reverse the payment.
- Do not confront the scammer or warn them you know. Save the evidence first, then cut contact.
- In the U.S., report to ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov, plus the dating app or social network. Outside the U.S., use your national fraud reporting service.
- Anyone who contacts you offering to recover your money for a fee is almost certainly running a second scam.
- Being scammed is not a judgment on your intelligence. Free, confidential support is available, and talking to someone helps.
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Is it really a scam? Common signs
Romance scams are large and growing. In its 2025 Internet Crime Report, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) recorded 23,159 confidence/romance fraud complaints with about $929 million in reported losses. Across all fraud types, the FTC received 3 million fraud reports in 2025 with $15.9 billion in reported losses. Many victims never report, so the real numbers are likely higher.
According to the FTC, romance scammers follow a recognizable script. If several of these match your situation, treat the relationship as a scam until proven otherwise:
- They can never meet. They say they work on an oil rig, serve in the military overseas, work for an international organization, or live abroad. Video calls are always "broken" or cut short.
- The relationship moved fast. Declarations of love within days or weeks, and pressure to move off the dating app to WhatsApp, Telegram, Google Chat, or text.
- Money enters the story. Medical bills, a plane ticket to visit you, visa or customs fees, a frozen inheritance, or legal trouble.
- They want to "help you invest." Many romance contacts now steer victims into a crypto trading platform that shows fake profits. This is often called "pig butchering."
- They specify how you pay. Wire transfers, gift cards, payment apps, and cryptocurrency are hard to reverse, which is why scammers ask for them.
You can test a profile photo yourself. Run a reverse image search on their pictures. If the same face shows up under another name, on a stock photo site, or on a real person's social media, you have strong evidence of a fake profile. Our catfish check guide covers this in detail. A search that finds nothing does not prove the person is real, because scammers increasingly use private photos, cropped images, or AI-generated faces.
Step 1: Stop the money
Do this before anything else. Every hour counts, especially for wires and card charges that have not settled yet.
- Send nothing more. Not a "final" fee, not a tax to release your profits, not money to "prove your love." Scammers often escalate when they sense doubt.
- Call your bank or card issuer. Use the number on the back of your card or in your banking app, never a number the scammer gave you. Say clearly: "I was tricked by a scammer into sending this payment. I want to report fraud and ask for it to be stopped or reversed."
- Contact every other company involved. That includes wire services, gift card issuers, payment apps, and crypto exchanges. Details for each are below.
- Secure your accounts. If you shared passwords, banking logins, or remote access to your computer, change those passwords from a device the scammer never touched and turn on two-factor authentication.
- Check for borrowed accounts. If the scammer asked you to receive and forward money or packages, stop. You may have been used as a "money mule," and your bank needs to know.
What to do for each payment method
Your options depend on how you paid. The FTC's guidance boils down to the table below. Federal law gives the strongest protection against unauthorized card and bank charges. When you sent the money yourself, a refund is often at the company's discretion, but you should always ask and file a written fraud claim.
| How you paid | Who to contact | What to ask for |
|---|---|---|
| Credit card | Card issuer (number on the card) | Report the charge as fraud and request a refund or dispute (chargeback). |
| Debit card or bank transfer (including Zelle) | Your bank or credit union | Report fraud, ask them to reverse the transfer, and file a written claim. |
| Bank wire | Your bank, immediately | Ask them to recall the wire. Also file at ic3.gov, since the FBI's Recovery Asset Team works with banks to freeze funds. |
| Western Union or MoneyGram | The wire company | Tell them a scammer tricked you into sending it and ask for a refund. Unpicked transfers can sometimes be stopped. |
| Gift cards | The card's issuer (number on the back) | Say a scammer got the card number and PIN and ask for a refund. Keep the cards and receipts. |
| Payment app (Cash App, Venmo, PayPal) | The app, through its in-app support | Report the payment as a scam and ask for a reversal. |
| Cryptocurrency | The exchange or crypto ATM operator | Report the transaction as fraud and ask for a reversal. Recovery is difficult, but report it anyway. |
| Cash by mail | U.S. Postal Inspection Service (1-877-876-2455), or FedEx/UPS | Ask whether the package can be intercepted before delivery. |
The FBI's IC3 says its Recovery Asset Team froze about $679 million in 2025 by working with banks on fraudulent transfers it was alerted to. Fast reporting is what makes that possible, so file at ic3.gov even if your bank has already been notified.
Step 2: Save the evidence
Investigators, banks, and platforms all work from evidence. Scammers routinely delete their profiles, so capture everything now and store copies somewhere the scammer cannot reach, such as a USB drive or a cloud folder only you can access.
- Profile details: screenshots of every profile they used, their usernames, profile URLs, and the dates you matched or connected.
- Photos they sent: download the original files. These are useful for reverse image searches and for showing the platform that the photos belong to someone else.
- Conversations: screenshot or export the full chat history. WhatsApp and Telegram both offer chat export options in their settings.
- Contact points: phone numbers, email addresses, and any messaging handles.
- Payment records: bank statements, wire receipts with tracking numbers (MTCN), gift card numbers and receipts, crypto wallet addresses and transaction IDs (hashes), and the names of any trading website or app.
- A timeline: a simple list of dates, amounts, and what reason they gave for each request.
Step 3: Report the scam
Reporting rarely brings money back on its own, but it feeds the databases investigators use to connect cases, freeze accounts, and remove profiles. File in more than one place.
In the United States
- FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov. Your report goes into the Consumer Sentinel database used by law enforcement agencies nationwide.
- FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: ic3.gov. Include wire details, wallet addresses, and transaction IDs. This is the main route to the Recovery Asset Team for bank wires.
- The platform: report the profile in the dating app or social network using its "Report" or "Block and report" option, and tell them the photos are stolen. This protects the next person.
- Local police: a police report number can help with bank claims, and some departments have financial crimes units. If you are 60 or older, the Justice Department's National Elder Fraud Hotline (833-FRAUD-11, or 833-372-8311) can help you report and find resources.
- Your state attorney general's consumer protection office, which the FTC also recommends.
Outside the United States
- UK: Action Fraud was replaced by Report Fraud (reportfraud.police.uk, 0300 123 2040), run by the City of London Police, in December 2025, and covers England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Old Action Fraud links redirect there. In Scotland, contact Police Scotland on 101.
- Canada: the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre takes reports online at reportcyberandfraud.canada.ca or by phone at 1-888-495-8501. Also report to your local police.
- Australia: report cybercrime through ReportCyber at cyber.gov.au, and see Scamwatch for guidance. IDCARE offers free support if your identity documents were shared.
Beware of recovery scams
Once you have lost money, your contact details may end up on lists that scammers buy and sell. The FTC calls the follow-up fraud "the worst of the worst": someone offers to get your money back, for a fee. The FBI's 2025 report counted 10,516 recovery scam complaints, with $1.4 billion in reported losses (a figure that can include money lost in the original scams).
Recovery scammers often pose as a government agency (including the FTC or FBI), a law firm, a "blockchain forensics" company, a consumer advocacy group, or even a hacker who can "trace" crypto. The warning signs:
- They contacted you first, by phone, email, text, social media, or a comment on a scam-warning post.
- They want an upfront fee: a retainer, processing fee, tax, or "wallet activation" payment.
- They guarantee results or say your money has already been "located."
- They ask for your bank account numbers, Social Security number, or remote access to your computer.
- They want payment by gift card, crypto, wire, or payment app.
Emotional support and getting help
Romance scams cause real grief. You may be mourning a relationship that felt genuine, as well as dealing with financial loss, embarrassment, and anger. These reactions are normal. Scammers are skilled manipulators who use the same tactics on thousands of people, and they target trust and kindness, not a lack of intelligence.
- Tell someone you trust. The FTC specifically recommends talking to a friend or family member. Isolation is what the scammer relied on.
- AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline: 877-908-3360, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern. It offers free support and guidance from trained fraud specialists. AARP also runs free, confidential online support groups for fraud victims, including sessions for people affected by romance scams (search "AARP ReST").
- A counselor or therapist can help with the grief and shame, especially if the relationship lasted months or years.
- If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S., or contact local emergency services wherever you are.
If you are helping a family member, lead with empathy rather than "how could you?" People who feel judged sometimes defend the scammer and keep sending money in secret.
Protecting yourself afterward
People who have been scammed once are often targeted again, so extra caution pays off.
- Check your identity exposure. If you shared your Social Security number, ID photos, or bank logins, go to IdentityTheft.gov for a recovery plan and place a free credit freeze with Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.
- Watch your statements for small test charges or new accounts for at least a few months.
- Change your number or email if the scammer and their associates keep contacting you. Block every account they used.
- Verify before you trust next time. Before getting emotionally or financially involved with someone you have only met online, run their photos through Google Lens, Bing, and TinEye, and consider a face search engine to see whether the face appears under other names. Insist on a live, unscripted video call early on.
- Adopt one hard rule: never send money, gift cards, or crypto to someone you have not met in person, and never invest on a platform an online contact recommends.
Free reverse image search should always come first. If the photos come back clean but something still feels off, a paid people-search service such as Social Catfish can cross-reference a name, phone number, email, or username. Results can be incomplete, outdated, or mismatched, so treat them as leads to check, not proof of identity.
Frequently asked questions
Can I get my money back after a romance scam?
Sometimes, but it depends on how you paid and how quickly you act. Credit card disputes and quickly reported bank wires have the best odds. Gift cards, crypto, and cash are much harder to recover, though companies occasionally freeze funds that have not been spent. Contact the payment provider immediately and file reports with the FTC and IC3 either way.
Should I tell the scammer I know?
Not until you have saved the evidence. After that, simply stop responding and block them. Confronting a scammer rarely helps, and they may simply try a new story, such as claiming they were forced into it.
Will the police actually investigate?
Many romance scams are run from overseas, which makes local prosecution difficult. Still, police reports and FTC/IC3 filings are pooled and analyzed, and they help agencies link cases, freeze accounts, and take down networks. A police report number can also support a bank fraud claim.
What if I sent the scammer photos of my ID?
Treat it as potential identity theft. Use IdentityTheft.gov to create a recovery plan, freeze your credit with the three bureaus, and monitor your accounts. If you shared a passport or driver's license, ask the issuing agency what extra steps it recommends.
Sources & further reading
- FTC: What to know about romance scams
- FTC: What to do if you were scammed (by payment method)
- FTC: Refund and recovery scams
- FBI IC3: 2025 Internet Crime Report (PDF)
- GOV.UK: Report Fraud, the new service from City of London Police
- AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline
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